Finding Meaning in the Pursuit of Excellence

Religious and traditional teachings once provided a clear framework for how to live a meaningful life.

These systems offered shared goals, principles, and a sense of belonging.

The promise of rewards for adherence to these frameworks gave people direction and purpose.

For example, on the religious side, you follow the path and principles laid out in the doctrine, and you derive meaning from the fact you're doing so in service or worship to God, or even for the promise of a better afterlife.

Even outside of the religious arena, when we lived in smaller tribes, someone needed to collect the wood, someone needed to take care of the kids, someone needed to build the houses.

In those times of scarcity, survival depended on everyone fulfilling their role within the group.

For the individual, this feeling of your input being important to the survival of the group no doubt brought about a sense of purpose and meaning.

Modern society has largely moved away from these traditional belief systems and tribally connected communities.

Scientific thinking, scepticism, and a globally connected world have replaced them.

Atrocities carried out in religion's name have also driven people from places of worship.

And whilst pushing past previously established beliefs has brought progress and technological advancement, it's also left many without that foundational sense of meaning.

This isn't new: In the 1950s, Rollo May wrote about how, when religious tradition breaks down, people seek guiding principles elsewhere.

He observed people turning to the opinion of society for approval and external validation: climbing corporate ladders, buying status symbols, following trends, joining political movements.

Perhaps this set the stage for something or someone to fill the "God-shaped hole", leading to dictatorships and the subsequent terrors of Nazism and Communism.

Today, we see a similar pattern.

Maybe we could (should?) go back to living in line with some form of religion.

But we haven't managed it so far.

One of the things we've seemingly tried to fill that gap with is politics, with both sides convinced that their side being in power will lead to the promised land.

It's clear to see that some people find focussing on politics somewhat meaningful, at least in the short-term while they argue online or at the family dinner table.

But often the longer-term cost is feeling powerless and giving your sense of autonomy over to external forces - often those who don't have your best interests in mind.

Social media offers us the incentive of finding meaning in the opinions of society, posting to see if our latest trip or purchase is sufficiently approved of by other people to warrant a 'like'.

But with enough life experience and introspection, you'll probably come to realise that society doesn't have the answers.

Most people are just as uncertain about how to live as you are.

When you realise this, there's only one place left to turn:

Yourself.

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there." - Marcus Aurelius

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche

But this is where it gets uncomfortable.

Self-Awareness

Looking inward means confronting the reality that you might not know who you are, what you want, what you enjoy, or what you're good at.

Initially, you're still left with the question of "What should I do with my life?" - A question that is essentially asking, "What could I do with my life that would be meaningful?".

This uncertainty often triggers anxiety.

You've lived your life up 'til that point following the path laid out for you - again by tradition or the expectations of society - and now you're confronting the fact that you might need to take responsibility for your next moves.

Some people avoid or numb this discomfort with internet-based distraction or even more extreme measures of excessive drug and alcohol use.

But it doesn't solve that nagging question, so you either continue living with that background sense of meaninglessness, or you start exploring.

This is the point where Rollo May says seeking self-awareness is the best next step.

You can start to ask yourself questions like:

"What do I want my life to look like?"

"What kind of person do I want to be?"

"What behaviours am I currently doing that make me feel depressed?"

"What are my relationships like?"

"What work do I enjoy doing?"

"When have I felt the greatest sense of meaning previously?"

Going through this process in and of itself can bring a great feeling of meaning.

You feel you're on a better path.

You're not fully clear yet on where you want to go, but at least you're moving.

At least you're engaging with the problem.

That might be something as simple as realising you get a great sense of meaning when you're cooking for your family, reading about architecture, or working on DIY projects.

Or at a more extreme level, it might lead to you realising your current career path is not one you want to be on, or that there are major aspects your relationships that need to be improved.

The more self-awareness you can build, the more you can assess how your current life aligns with how you'd prefer it to be.

But self-awareness is only the first step.

Self-Development

Stopping at self-awareness would be like writing up a gym programme, only to never step into the gym.

You might enjoy writing out the exercises, reps, and sets, but if you don't actually do them, you won't build an ounce of muscle or strength.

That is to say, in the pursuit of meaning, self-reflection is necessary - but not sufficient.

The next step is to start taking action to align your reality with the insights you've gained.

It's not enough to recognise your newfound interest in evolutionary psychology - you also have to go and allow yourself to start exploring it.

It's not enough to know that your job is making you miserable - you also have to start taking action to change it.

In doing so, self-reflection becomes self-development.

But I'm going to make an even tougher point.

Even action towards self-development may not be sufficient.

You may already recognise this if you've undertaken a goal that you deemed meaningful, but ended up half-assing your efforts in pursuing it.

As a result, you probably experienced some combination of becoming bored with it, not getting the intended outcomes from it, and feeling dejected in your failure.

The Pursuit of Excellence

And this is where the next step I'm suggesting comes into play.

That is, committing to the pursuit of excellence in those areas you've deemed to be aligned with your interests, preferences, and prior experiences of meaning.

This commitment to pursuing excellence can have a number of profound impacts.

First, and perhaps least important of all, is that you give yourself the best chance at achieving the actual outcomes you're after.

You're more likely to achieve the physique change you want if you commit to excellence in your training and nutrition.

You're more likely to get the new job if you're committed to excellence in writing your CV and prepping for the interview.

This can be gratifying in showing your efforts are being rewarded, and can lead to tangible changes in your experience of life.

But I say this may be the least important aspect when it comes to meaning because often getting the outcomes we want doesn't bring the sense of meaning we expected.

Which is why the second impact is important.

This is, that there is a sense of meaning to be found in the pursuit itself, not just the outcome.

By committing to the pursuit of excellence, every step you take towards the goal becomes imbued with meaning.

The training session isn't just a boring slog - it's a step in the direction of you creating the body you want.

Reading the textbook isn't just a task to be ticked off - it's a building block towards a more intelligent version of yourself.

The hard conversation with your partner isn't just an argument - it's a means of improving your relationship.

That means your sense of meaning isn't dependant on some future, uncertain outcome, but it's woven into your daily life.

To bring a touch of (overly simplified) neuroscience in, your brain's dopamine levels increase when you take action in pursuit of a preferred outcome.

And in simple terms, more dopamine = more motivation = an increased feeling of meaning in the pursuit.

Thirdly, the pursuit of excellence offers more opportunity for "flow states".

"Flow" is that state of complete immersion, where time seems to disappear and you're fully engaged in what you're doing.

We could easily say that this feeling is an example of the sense of meaning, in that the activity itself becomes so meaningful that nothing else seems to matter.

This state is achieved, according to its originator, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, when the demands of the task are such that you're required to operate at close to the limit of your skills.

That is, when your skills are being stretched to their limits.

Think about the last few minutes of a football match when the scores are even and you're doing everything you can to get on the ball and set up a scoring opportunity.

Or when you're working on a task at work that requires every bit of your concentration.

The pursuit of excellence, by definition, offers more opportunity for you to be at that limit.

That means more opportunity for flow state, and the sense of meaning associated with that.

Fourthly, the pursuit of excellence becomes a habit.

The attitude you take to one area of your life, whether consciously or subconsciously, often carries over into other areas of your life.

You've probably noticed that when you're consistent with your training, you usually end up eating better too.

You probably also end up getting to bed earlier, getting to work on time, being more present with your family.

As a result, not only do these tangible things improve, but with each area in which you're pursuing excellence, the feeling of meaning expands further into the various areas of your life.

Last and not least, the pursuit of excellence can bring more meaning to even the mundane tasks that don't necessarily feel aligned with your self-awareness-driven preferences and goals.

As you'll have picked up by now, the ideal scenario would be to always be engaged in activities that you want to be doing and pursuing excellence in those activities.

But that's not reality.

The dishes have to be washed.

Work tasks include administrative work.

Meal prep needs sorted.

There are tasks that don't necessarily have this grand sense of meaning built in.

But if you can take some elements of pursuing excellence in these things (within reason), maybe they become more bearable.

Maybe you start to see how efficient you can be in the dish-washing process.

Or next time you're doing work admin, you set up a system that makes the process more streamlined.

Or you decide to put a bit more effort into making your meal prep tastier.

In doing so, each individual task may feel slightly more bearable, knowing that it is building up your self-identity to be more in line with the pursuit of excellence.

At the very least, they become a chance to practise excellence.

The Downside of Pursuing Excellence

As a final note, I feel it important to highlight the downside of the pursuit of excellence.

That is, that it's difficult.

It's more work to go all in on pursuing your fitness goals than it is to half-ass it.

You'll likely be doing more sessions, the sessions will be harder, you'll require more discipline with your nutrition.

It's less painful in the short-term to let resentment build up in your relationship than to have the tough conversation.

It's easier to do the minimum work to get by in your job.

Yes, it's harder to pursue excellence, at least in the short-term.

But it's not as if the alternative is better.

Half-assed training efforts lead to you not having the body you want.

Unaddressed relationship issues build resentment.

Low effort in your job leaves you getting overlooked for promotions.

There will be suffering either way whether it’s the suffering associated with the hard efforts necessary to pursue excellence, or the suffering of not having the outcomes you want because you don’t go after them fully.

Suffering is inevitable - but meaning is not.

By committing to the pursuit of excellence, the suffering remains, but it’s worth it, for the sense of meaning that comes along with it.